Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
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I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
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Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize