it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
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when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
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Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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