It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I cannot find my penis.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
