oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
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