I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
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Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
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Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
