the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
