I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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