he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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