Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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