hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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