saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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