shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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