Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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