I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just invented taco cereal.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
