I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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