Hey man sorry I got all grabby
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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