At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
