If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
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my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
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Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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