im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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