i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize