Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
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