3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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