youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Rumble strips road head = magical
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
