if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
