I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
