Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
