TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Please don't give away my fajitas
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
