he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
