The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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