I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
