Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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