I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
