How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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