Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She's the barista slut.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
