1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
