we're blogging at a bar
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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