so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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