Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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