seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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