I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
