remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
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I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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