drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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