I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
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