AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
