i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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