Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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