Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize