just come out here and I will go home with you...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
