New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
