Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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