i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just found a bag of teeth...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
