So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
