i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You are a genius and a whore.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
