peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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