Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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