If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Still dying that you shit outside
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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