she looked like the before picture.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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