hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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