Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
