if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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